Back in the Saddle Again

Upon edit-

I have retracted the forbidden name from post number 2.

There are others whos magic may yet be intact.

Might as well keep it that way.

In other news , I have some real nice dogs! Spectacular , even.
Introductions are in order.


Jet is a handsome young fellow by Helsley's Cap, with an upright working style. He could do with a little confidence, and wider flanks, and possibly a tad more 'feel for his sheep'.  I think I can help him with all of that. No, REALLY!

Jones , also handsome, also by Helsley's Cap, was born 1.5 years ago in my kitchen.  Jones   has been spending time with DD, because I had difficulty starting him.
He is going around sheep for me very well for me this week . Jones has 'feel for sheep ' in pleasing abundance.

Both of these young gents like working with me.

My Star is even starting to look like an open dog , when the mood suits her, which seems to be happening more often.
Star is , about 6 now, I think, so its due.

Fitz is a clever , confidant , even bold 5-month old pup. He was on sheep one time with DD. He liked it and looked good. At this point , nothing else to say about Fitz, except that he makes me laugh.

I'm entered in Athena.  Its been a while since I trialled.
I'm looking forward to being Back in the Saddle.

Talismans, Lucky Signs and the...... Forbidden name

 I am modern, scientific ,and maintain realistic expectations about cause and effect, but what handler does not believe in some very silly ritual to bring success on the trial field.

Lucky socks.

 Lucky underwear.

A lucky crook.

We wish one another "luck".

I've got a whistle lanyard dripping with beads and charms , each having a  meaning to me, and serving to remind me of some particular value or virtue to pull out of my small bag of skills when I stand at the  handler's post.

I have a crook that was a gift from someone I loved.  That is lucky.

I ran a phenomenally great dog, A once in a lifetime dog ,  who did not belong to me.

Very lucky. I walked in God's grace. Grace from God bestowed by my Mentor, who's dog I , through his grace,  had the undeserved pleasure of partnering with.

You may get confidence wearing your lucky underpants as you walk to the post, But Theres NOTHING like the "Luck" of knowing you are running the best dang dog at the trial, at any trial, anywhere.

I came across 2 mementos this morning:

A pressed four-leaf clover  that I found last year at the set out at Lacamas SheepDog Trial.

I picked it observing that I was one lucky gal. It bode good things, fulfillment in my sheepdog journey, a balanced life. I carried it in my wallet, to remind me of my blessings, and for luck.

The other memento was an annotated score sheet from a trial I ran in one week after I picked the lucky clover. I did not know at the time , It was to be my last  run with a dog that was my heart.

 I welcome trials as a chance to show me what I need to work on with my dog. I am thankful that even a poor run can be a point from which to make specific improvements. And even a less than stellar run will have instances of great beauty.

I had written notes on the score sheet based on conversation with  Jack Knox, the judge of that trial . Jack was generous in sharing suggestions for exercises  to sharpen up my shed.

I remember looking forward to practicing, with utmost confidence that dog and I would soon have complete mastery of the shed. I was ready. Great stuff was going to happen to my trialling. I was poised on the brink of exactly where I wanted to be.

My luck changed soon after.

Looking back,I should have seen it coming.

Earlier my crook broke. I had left it leaning on a wall at a trial, and it had fallen , breaking the horn handle in two. Once harmonious and united, now separated.   The magic leaked out.  A cold  foreboding.

I get that I am supposed to pretend none of this ever occurred, because the mention of it may be uncomfortable.  Everyone gets the luck they deserve. 

The forbidden name must not spring from my lips.

But why not,  My magic has already  leaked out. 

Its alright now to say the name.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon edit-

I will not say the forbidden name.

There are others whos magic may yet be intact.

Might as well keep it that way. 

Like the world needs another sheepdog blog from a mediocre handler

I was going to start a blog about my sheep, and dog,  and sheepdog trialing ups and downs.
Maybe I could contribute a unique voice, amid the perhaps hundreds of other sheepdog blogs.
It was going to have poetry, philosophy,humor, art , and science.
I expected my blog to be a chronicle of  set -backs and victories,  arcing ever  upwards, toward success,   as dedication, hard work, and a little luck led on an  inevitable path  towards personal fulfillment, and  spiritual growth (and kick-ass runs.)

I've loved the game since I first started. LOVED IT! It was a compelling pursuit, and caught all my imagination. Complex, multifaceted, and damnably difficult. Impossibly difficult....Yet there were  instances of knee-weakening  perfection. Brief, and illusive. Even now I can almost feel it.
Hey, Sister, this IS God's plan for your life!

Good friends, unbelievable dogs,  outside under the sky.  The sheep were pleasant, and beautiful, and they smelled so fucking good.
 Listen, bird calls.
Breezes. The sheep's breath, warm sweet clover.
Dust makes me happy to be alive.
My  joy is too large for my skin. It seeps out as cooling sweat.
A lonely person can experience  union with another soul. Person and dog. Greater than the sum of their parts.

Somewhere, I read that it takes about 10 years in trialing to get a modicum of competence.
It would have been neat to call my blog, "The Tenth Year" , but that year came and went without notable success. The eleventh and  twelfth years passed similarly.
The success I was hoping for eluded me still.

For a while there though, about year 13 or 14, I felt close to it.  I thought I could almost touch it.
My cup overflowed.
I felt my bliss.
 I was physically beautiful when I was having a good session with my dog, at least it seemed possible that I was.



.......But that might not have been true.
Delusion.
I am no longer in a position to even imagine I knew my own path.

So, here is my first and last blog post on my sheepdog blog.

I'm going to write a biography of a Depression instead.
Please join me @ my other new blog :SUCK'

http://smoulderingsuck.blogspot.com/