Like the world needs another sheepdog blog from a mediocre handler

I was going to start a blog about my sheep, and dog,  and sheepdog trialing ups and downs.
Maybe I could contribute a unique voice, amid the perhaps hundreds of other sheepdog blogs.
It was going to have poetry, philosophy,humor, art , and science.
I expected my blog to be a chronicle of  set -backs and victories,  arcing ever  upwards, toward success,   as dedication, hard work, and a little luck led on an  inevitable path  towards personal fulfillment, and  spiritual growth (and kick-ass runs.)

I've loved the game since I first started. LOVED IT! It was a compelling pursuit, and caught all my imagination. Complex, multifaceted, and damnably difficult. Impossibly difficult....Yet there were  instances of knee-weakening  perfection. Brief, and illusive. Even now I can almost feel it.
Hey, Sister, this IS God's plan for your life!

Good friends, unbelievable dogs,  outside under the sky.  The sheep were pleasant, and beautiful, and they smelled so fucking good.
 Listen, bird calls.
Breezes. The sheep's breath, warm sweet clover.
Dust makes me happy to be alive.
My  joy is too large for my skin. It seeps out as cooling sweat.
A lonely person can experience  union with another soul. Person and dog. Greater than the sum of their parts.

Somewhere, I read that it takes about 10 years in trialing to get a modicum of competence.
It would have been neat to call my blog, "The Tenth Year" , but that year came and went without notable success. The eleventh and  twelfth years passed similarly.
The success I was hoping for eluded me still.

For a while there though, about year 13 or 14, I felt close to it.  I thought I could almost touch it.
My cup overflowed.
I felt my bliss.
 I was physically beautiful when I was having a good session with my dog, at least it seemed possible that I was.



.......But that might not have been true.
Delusion.
I am no longer in a position to even imagine I knew my own path.

So, here is my first and last blog post on my sheepdog blog.

I'm going to write a biography of a Depression instead.
Please join me @ my other new blog :SUCK'

http://smoulderingsuck.blogspot.com/