Nothing like that ever happened.
I have to repeat it to myself. Relatively pleasant days can go by when I can believe it.
The physical memory is pretty faded now, more like a memory of a memory.
I wore it out through overuse. Like a toy panda bear I used to have who got so threadbare and bald from too much attention for too long, that it wasn't even recognizable as the original bright fluffy toy in the photograph of Christmas morning 1957.
Something did NOT happen two years ago, during the week before the USBCHA finals.
I am more content when I make myself believe it never happened. This seems consistent with the apparent sentiments of others. Lots of people are pretending it didnt happen.
I think I can stay contented if I pretend along with them.
Once in a while, though, not as often as used to be, I forget to remember that it never happened.
I need to work harder on that.
No comments:
Post a Comment